I hate the feeling after something ends. The letdown you experience after finishing a thought-provoking book or movie, or returning from an exciting vacation. You can always go back to it by reading or watching it again, or looking at pictures, but it is never the same. That initial feeling is lost forever. That part of you is closed, your experience is over. I just watched the final episodes of Sex and the City. That show really makes you think; at least it made me think. About life, love, what I really want, comparing myself to Carrie who lives such a glamorous (though sometimes painful) life. But it also makes you realize what is really important. The final episode really highlighted that, as all the character’s lives were completed. What would make my life complete, I wonder? It is different for each of them, Samantha, Miranda, Charlotte and Carrie, as it is for everyone. Watching the show from the beginning you realize that none of them ended up with exactly what they wanted in the most convenient way. But they all ended complete and more than satisfied.

Carrie asked multiple questions in her writings, ones that I couldn’t always answer for myself. Of course I am only 18 and have yet to begin to experience the trials and tribulations of a relationship or life on my own, but I can think about expectations. But now that, like so many other things that have made me ponder life, is finished. I do believe that every intelligent experience you have, every book, movie, discussion or sight, changes you a bit. And you can never recover your previous self. It is scary to change. To move on and never be able to go back. I’m not quite ready to go forward, but I don’t think I have a choice. Tomorrow I’ll probably forget this letdown, this strange void that comes at the end of something wonderful and provocative. It will be replaced by life, the continuation of time that never stops for anything. But for tonight I’ll savor my musings and continue to think about the four friends in the city who finally got everything right.